And finally Winter, with its bitin’, whinin’ wind, and all the land will be mantled with snow.
- Roy Bean

When I’m lyin’ in my bed at night
I don’t wanna grow up
Nothin’ ever seems to turn out right
I don’t wanna grow up
How do you move in a world of fog
That’s always changing things
Makes me wish that I could be a dog
When I see the price that you pay
I don’t wanna grow up
I don’t ever wanna be that way
I don’t wanna grow up

Seems like folks turn into things
That they’d never want
The only thing to live for
Is today…
I’m gonna put a hole in my TV set
I don’t wanna grow up
Open up the medicine chest
And I don’t wanna grow up
I don’t wanna have to shout it out
I don’t want my hair to fall out
I don’t wanna be filled with doubt
I don’t wanna be a good boy scout
I don’t wanna have to learn to count
I don’t wanna have the biggest amount
I don’t wanna grow up

Well when I see my parents fight
I don’t wanna grow up
They all go out and drinking all night
And I don’t wanna grow up
I’d rather stay here in my room
Nothin’ out there but sad and gloom
I don’t wanna live in a big old Tomb
On Grand Street

When I see the 5 o’clock news
I don’t wanna grow up
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don’t wanna grow up

Stay around in my old hometown
I don’t wanna put no money down
I don’t wanna get me a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I don’t wanna float a broom
Fall in love and get married then boom
How the hell did I get here so soon
I don’t wanna grow up

- (Tom Waits/K. Brennan)

photo via apartmenttherapy.com

wow! another year is over and gone and a new one has just begun.  i really want to pay much more attention to this blog, or whatever it is i am doing here.  i’ve got a few ideas on the go to keep me online and updating a little more frequently in 2012.  some ideas include:

12 months of bears.  for me, 2012 is the year of the bear (even though it’s really the year of the dragon).  i’ve been obsessed with bears these days and so i’ve decided to create a bear illustration for each month of the year.  so many bears, not enough months in the year.  hope you enjoy.

more examples of posters and artwork i do for rock shows/albums/whatever. because it’s fun.

more photography. i’ve been grossly neglecting my camera and that’s sad because i enjoy taking photographs. whether or not they are good photographs is up to the viewer. i just like taking them and isn’t that enough?

more music. both playing and listening to. i love music.  it’s what keeps me going and inspires me.  i’m lucky enough to know some fantastic and very talented musicians and their dedication and drive to keep creating always blows me away.

i hope 2012 is a good year.  no.  let me rephrase that.  2012 WILL be a good year.

hey, 2012.  bring.  it.

surrounding yourself with pretty things may be comforting, but what does all that stuff really do for you?

i came across an article recently the timing of which couldn’t have been better.

i just bought a house and have been packing up my apartment in preperation for the move. i have A LOT of stuff. TOO MUCH stuff, really. did i mention i hate packing? after procrastinating for a few hours, i finally hunkered down and started throwing stuff into boxes. a mountain of packed boxes later i realised i had hardly made a dent and there was still so much packing to do.

then it came to me.

why am i holding onto all this stuff? i haven’t used, worn, or thought about much of the items in months/years and i really don’t want to move it all to a new location where i will most likely continue to ignore it.

the very next day i came across this.

Living with less

i went home that night, opened every packed box and really asked myself if the items were truly useful, meaningful or irreplaceable. if the answer was no, they went into the donate pile.

i should mention that i’m a collector of things. doesn’t matter what it is, if it catches my eye or imagination, i’ll collect it. funny thing about collectors. they bond to their collections like a mother to her children. i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t a struggle not to come up with excuses to keep everything, but i pressed on and was ruthless in my decision to rid myself of all the crap weighing me (and my move) down. as the night wore on, the editing got easier. soon my donate pile towered over my keep pile and my whole being felt lighter and lighter with each item i chose to get rid of.

now i can’t wait to tackle the rest of the apartment. i’m determined to streamline my belongings and hopefully apply the same principles of paring down to other aspects of my life. i know i’ll continue to struggle with the collecting, but from now on i’ll put a lot more thought into every item i am tempted to bring home, BEFORE i bring it home.

here’s to streamlined living. i can hardly wait for the change.

everyone is complaining about the heat these days. even i have heard the words “it’s too hot” come out of my mouth a lot more than usual lately, but i’ve got to admit, i love the heat.

i wish it would stay summer all year long with periods of spring and fall here and there just to break the monotony. i’d be happy with that.

fuck winter. long live the summer heat!

winston (my little heart) feb 1998 - june 2011

“Sometimes,” said Pooh, “the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”
— A.A. Milne

i lost my special friend yesterday. he was sweet and gentle and loving. he was there for me always and never complained that i didn’t spend enough time with him. he never complained when i got frustrated and impatient with him. he only wanted to please me and he only wanted me to love him. i did. i do. i pray to god he knew that.

i’m so lucky to have had this time with him. he was a sweet and gentle dog. he was my little heart.

my little buddy. you were such a huge part of me. i won’t be the same without you. you taught me so much about myself. good and bad. my life will be so much emptier without you.

i’ll miss you so much.

xo

i crave my bike. all i can think about these days is my bike, the warm weather, my leather jacket and boots and the smell of two-stroke.

i can’t wait to ride again.

note: the bike in the picture is not my bike, but it is a hot ride and i’d die to own it.

“If you wanna fly, you gotta give up the shit that weighs you down.” – Toni Morrison

…boys on bikes. *sigh*

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss